today was a fairly long day. but i knew it would be. i woke up late this morning, not on purpose. my body used to be rhythmically programmed to wake up everyday between 630 and 700. no alarm necessary. however, a few weekends of travel and staying up late, drinking with friends, has caused my natural arousal to go awry. so i woke up, got dressed in my trusty carharts and looked out my bathroom window. cleaning ladies car. its friday. now, most fridays its alright to see mrs clean early in the morning. the woman is a talker. and this morning i just didn't feel like talking. but she's got this uncanny ability to always be down in the kitchen whenever my stomach starts grumbling.

so after a chatty breakfast, i escaped to my subaru and lost myself in the decemberists lyrics while attempting to leave the hill for work. its june seventeenth and i had to use my windshield wipers today. it was a gloomy day, but i suppose gray is an acceptable color for a funeral, no matter what month. work consisted of "racking-off" our 03 vintage. i take the "barrel wand" and pump all of the wine out of barrels and into the tank. 30 barrels. i then spin the barrels upside down to drain them. washing the barrels outside in the rain today. soaking wet. the reddish purple grape solids made iridecent swirls in the rainwater while racing towards the drain. steam rose up around me as i washed the barrels with scalding hot water. my shoes stained purple. my carharts spotted red. all very somber. i accepted it all though. no complaining. it was the way it was.

this evening my sister and i got in an argument over fathers day. i'm doing all this shopping for my stepdad and she's going to sign her name to the card. seriously NOT okay in my book. i know i'm being a bit bitchy. a bit too edgy about all this. but hey, you'd be unpleasant too if you were in my shoes.

my hands are stained burgundy. they are dry. cracked. and i am ashamed. i hold them behind my back and attempt to keep them a secret from strangers and friends.