Birthday messages from friends I haven't spoken to in years that make me cry because I miss them.
Thai food with a dear new friend. She's so awesome and I'm sure she doesn't even realize how awesome her awesomeness actually is.
A conversation with my mom about the day I was born in which she spoke about the love new moms have for their children. I've heard about instantly falling in love but didn't realize until today that my mom felt that way about me.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Sewing A Stuffed Anatomical Heart #1
Here's a stuffed heart I made for class. Given time constraints, I couldn't play around with it too much (I desperately need to fix that aorta and pulmonary artery!). I'm currently working on another (better?) version that I'll post when it's complete.
This is supposed to be a view into the four chambers with atrioventricular valves and chordae tendonae.
This is the back... (you can't really see, but I embroidered coronary arteries and veins)
This is supposed to be a view into the four chambers with atrioventricular valves and chordae tendonae.
This is the back... (you can't really see, but I embroidered coronary arteries and veins)
Sunday, February 01, 2009
Back to School
My first day of classes was on Friday and it feels so strange to actually be moving forward with my plan to become a cardiac sonographer. I have completed the first round of travel: Leave for the airport straight after work on Thursday, Board plane to Sacramento, Arrive in Sacramento, Immediately fall asleep, Wake up at 5am, Drive 2 hours, Attend a full day of classes, Drive 2 hours, Board Plane to Portland, Ride bus 1 hour from airport home (Did I mention I no longer have a car in Portland? It's now in Sacramento for the 2 hour drive.)
My instructor is extremely knowledgeable, with multiple graduate degrees, and a strong passion for her career. I feel incredibly lucky to learn from such a strong woman. I am one of 7 people in the class (4 Boys, 3 Girls) and I can't imagine how close we'll become after 2 years of learning together. There is a tradition every year in this program to hand out a "100 Grand" candy bar to every student. We are to send the signed wrapper back to our instructor once we have earned our first 100K; and apparently most of the wrappers come back with in the first 12-18 months. Hmmm... I think I like this profession.
Class was short this week, but we did manage to squeeze in a lecture on physics. How quickly that information left me after college! I couldn't remember some of the equations for the life of me, but it felt great to once again be surround by scientific information and I was grateful to be back in the classroom.
While listening to my instructor on Friday, an overwhelming confirmation of this career path welled up inside, but now that I'm away from that classroom and dwelling upon everything else in my life that still needs to move smoothly, I begin to panic. The travel. The money. Free time. My paying job. I have been obsessively working on work related projects this weekend as I feel so guilty for abandoning the non-profit organization I love.
Getting used to this new life is going to take time. Ultimately, I believe it is a worthwhile journey but it's hard not to have doubts as everything that once was stable is beginning to shift.
Random Story: I had to stop at a gas station on my way back from class and needed to use the restroom as well. This bathroom was the kind that is accessed through the outside... inevitably, completely disgusting. I REALLY had to go by this point so I ran in locked the door and realized that the room was smokey. Like dense, can't-really-see-anything-in-front-of-you, smokey. There were bloody Kleenex tissues in the garbage and I went as quickly as possible and tried not to cry from the horror. I reeked of smoke when I ran out of there and I couldn't figure out why anyone would go into the restroom to smoke. Then I realized that I was in the central valley of California and it was probably smoke from some illegal drug. My mind began to wonder and I became convinced that I was contact high from crack or meth. The rest of the drive was consumed with this thought. Ah, the joys of neuroticism. I won't be stopping there again.
My instructor is extremely knowledgeable, with multiple graduate degrees, and a strong passion for her career. I feel incredibly lucky to learn from such a strong woman. I am one of 7 people in the class (4 Boys, 3 Girls) and I can't imagine how close we'll become after 2 years of learning together. There is a tradition every year in this program to hand out a "100 Grand" candy bar to every student. We are to send the signed wrapper back to our instructor once we have earned our first 100K; and apparently most of the wrappers come back with in the first 12-18 months. Hmmm... I think I like this profession.
Class was short this week, but we did manage to squeeze in a lecture on physics. How quickly that information left me after college! I couldn't remember some of the equations for the life of me, but it felt great to once again be surround by scientific information and I was grateful to be back in the classroom.
While listening to my instructor on Friday, an overwhelming confirmation of this career path welled up inside, but now that I'm away from that classroom and dwelling upon everything else in my life that still needs to move smoothly, I begin to panic. The travel. The money. Free time. My paying job. I have been obsessively working on work related projects this weekend as I feel so guilty for abandoning the non-profit organization I love.
Getting used to this new life is going to take time. Ultimately, I believe it is a worthwhile journey but it's hard not to have doubts as everything that once was stable is beginning to shift.
Random Story: I had to stop at a gas station on my way back from class and needed to use the restroom as well. This bathroom was the kind that is accessed through the outside... inevitably, completely disgusting. I REALLY had to go by this point so I ran in locked the door and realized that the room was smokey. Like dense, can't-really-see-anything-in-front-of-you, smokey. There were bloody Kleenex tissues in the garbage and I went as quickly as possible and tried not to cry from the horror. I reeked of smoke when I ran out of there and I couldn't figure out why anyone would go into the restroom to smoke. Then I realized that I was in the central valley of California and it was probably smoke from some illegal drug. My mind began to wonder and I became convinced that I was contact high from crack or meth. The rest of the drive was consumed with this thought. Ah, the joys of neuroticism. I won't be stopping there again.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Something happened this past week. My life is about to change and it is a welcome change. I received a fat envelope in the mail and a letter opening with the line: "Congratulations! As a qualified candidate for the Diagnostic Medical Sonography- Cardiac Track Program, it is my pleasure to invite you to join the program beginning January 30, 2009." (!!!) Now, I am in the midst of making decisions and accomplishing tasks. Deciding where to live... Deciding to split my time between Portland and Merced because classes are held only on Friday's for the first year. OR deciding to take the plunge without guaranteed employment. I'm enrolling in CPR courses and purchasing textbooks. I'm trying to quiet my mind and listen to my heart. Fear is overtaking my being at one moment and relief the next.
I'm making my first quilt. It's a dream I've had for a long time and one that I honestly thought would never happen. I'm making this quilt without any real help; it's coming together with intuition, internet searches, and a book entitled The Modern Day Quilter. I am so proud of my work. Cutting rectangles for hours. Sewing blocks together with a sewing machine. Quilting three layers together by hand. It's a gift for someone I love and worth every needle prick on my left index finger.
I'm making my first quilt. It's a dream I've had for a long time and one that I honestly thought would never happen. I'm making this quilt without any real help; it's coming together with intuition, internet searches, and a book entitled The Modern Day Quilter. I am so proud of my work. Cutting rectangles for hours. Sewing blocks together with a sewing machine. Quilting three layers together by hand. It's a gift for someone I love and worth every needle prick on my left index finger.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
This is just to say... I know I was a pain when you called yesterday. Uttering words of cynicism from the moment you said hello. You called for support. Loving words. Encouragement. And all I could give you was a gray, scribbled rain cloud over my head. I am as baffled as you and this treatment undeserving. But! You see, my dear, I'm uncomfortable with myself and keeping you ever-so-slightly at bay gives me an illusion of comfort-- of control. I need you more than ever, yet I cannot keep myself from pushing you away. I'm sorry to be such a pest. I'm trying to be better.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
My head is pounding with a headache that temporarily went away this afternoon but decided to come back just now. It's making me lazy and unable to focus. To feel better, I decide to step outside. The weather reminds me more of winter than spring and my headache seems fitting under this oppressive gloom. It's cold. It's soaking wet. I hope the sun returns to Portland soon, I'm missing it's warmth and the happiness it brings to me.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
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